It’s a well-known fact that The Three Wise Men gave The Little Baby Jesus gold, frankincense and myrrh, but your presents don’t have to be so crap.
Most Christmas stories overlook the fact that The Three Wise Men did pack a chilly bin full of beer. Their desert journey was long and tiring, so “they dranketh of the beer, for they were wise indeed”. This is from the relatively unknown Gospel of Martin (9:12).
You can avoid the temptation and embarrassment of drinking your gifts by getting beer packed and delivered directly. A team of Elves will pick and pack your beer for you, and Santa will personally deliver it to The Little Baby Jesus. See above.
And it’s not too late. Here’s some places to go for Christmas beer deliveries.
Delivers nationwide – last orders 22 December.
Delivers nationwide – last orders 18 December
The giving is well under way already with Beer Library’s popular Beer Advent Boxes, featuring 24 beers to try over December. The tardier reader can still get into the 12 Beers of Christmas mixed dozen offer now, check the website for details.
Delivers nationwide – last orders noon 21 December
Christmas ideas – the Coronado Mermaid Collection of three bottles each of four Coronado beers for $70.80. Modern Times gift pack – five beers including a seasonal. Gift vouchers for Cult Beer Store and for Hashigo Zake available too.
Cult Beer Store's wholesale division Beer Without Borders is also getting into the Santa spirit. Border Stop is a temporary store at 24 Abel Smith St, Wellington CBD, from 1-3pm, Saturday 19 December. One-off opportunity to purchase direct from the cool store at less than retail prices. Load up the camels before your desert pilgrimage.
Your favourite craft brewer may well deliver directly, so check individual websites for details. And Crafters & Co is accepting delivery orders up until noon 22 December – keep an eye out for its new online store due to open before Christmas.
And yes, you can send yourself a Beery Christmas present. It's only lame if you keep it all to yourself.